I’ve been putting off writing this latest entry for the past few days. Actually, I haven’t done much of anything this past week. My mind has been a bit clouded and I haven’t been able to sleep. I’ve been staying up until I get so completely exhausted that I pass out for maybe an hour or two. Then I wake up and pass out again and again. When I have been awake I haven’t been able to read or write. Most of my time has been spent trying to sleep. What exactly is wrong?
Well, for one, the state of Texas murdered my friend Lonnie Pursley last Tuesday, May 2nd. His death has really weighed heavily upon my mind. On Monday, the day before he was murdered I had a visit and sat right next to Lonnie out at visitation. I got out there a little after 11 am or so and Lonnie was already visiting with his family. At first, I didn’t even know what to say to him. What do you say to your friend who only has one day left to live? It was so hard seeing his daughter, his newborn grandson and everyone else out there that I couldn’t even hardly talk to my visitor.
I was trying to keep my composure but when Lonnie said that his grandson “was even more beautiful than last week when he saw him”, tears came to my eyes and I started to cry. Why does this system have to punish grandchildren, daughters and others for the mistakes their family member made? I wanted to do something for Lonnie and his family but I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to make them tear gas me, bust the visitation cage off the hinges and scream to all of the officers that Lonnie is a Human being. It seemed so horrible that they were all out there walking around with bad attitudes because so many of Lonnie’s family members were there and it was crowded. Lonnie asked the visitation officer to contact the major because the front desk officer wouldn’t let 2 more of his family members in because she said it was too crowded.
There was plenty of room but she just wanted to have an attitude. I wish I knew what officer it was but we can’t see the front desk from visitation. These officers truly do have depraved and sick minds. This officer tried to keep Lonnie from seeing some of his family on his last full day alive simply because she didn’t want the extra work. The officers are conditioned to treat us like animals in cages. They really have to do that or they may realize that we indeed are humans. Then, of course, they would reflect upon their own inhumanity.
Well, the warden ended up coming to visitation and he let Lonnie’s family come in. Lonnie saw everyone which was good. My visitation time was up and Sgt. Ludwig and another officer came to escort me back to my cell. Being the asshole that he is, Ludwig was trying to rush me so I couldn’t talk to Lonnie. Well, I ignored him and said goodbye to my friend for the last time. As I was leaving, I saw Lonnie’s son who’s about my age leaning up against the wall crying. He was crying for his father, a person he loved who was soon to be executed.
And, the next day, Lonnie Pursley, my friend who had been a friend to many others here on death row in Livingston, was murdered by the state of Texas. We’ll miss you Lonnie but you’ll always live on in our memories.
R.G. Will
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